the Sky  3.3
is blue and righteous in every direction.

streaming Light  3.2
When you can't close your eyes : looking through people : accepting their behavior. When empty things you eliminate begin to reach the line. Tracing reasons and goals back around, over and under, and finally out. No longer accepting the value in things : their source exposed. Fitful searching : closed mouth, with eyes dried out and blurry. When you see everything for what it is : for where it comes from : for why it's passing through. If we give the value to objects and ideas, what if we see past that bestowed value? Just sugar. Just paint. Just motion. Just electricity. Just stuff. A pair of week old jeans sitting on the corner, watching the world pass by. Moments of effort come and go, blindly.

Carrots under water  12.21
What of the rabbits that run up the tree? no warning : no hesitation. why run, why even walk? Thick sheets of plastic floating down, pockets of air and patches of translucence, short shallow breathing.

Skin pounding out of sync with the thumping in my head, focus requiring effort to maintain. No more streams of light behind the furnace plate. sudden awareness of gravity. salt-less waters. the effort to point, to turn, to even remember. Mechanical longevity. Cognitive decline. Trees and rocks and water drops.

soy lecithin : an emulsifier  12.20
Butter biscuits covered by chocolate : bitter sweet, box of foreign words, product of. Why does the last seem less than the first? What of the next box when you remember the previous? the last several boxes? when you remember the final cookie. now the cookie just before the last becomes tainted. one previous, one more, another, half, more, everything. you know : deconstruct : see the pattern.

What of this pattern as it grows, and encroaches not only on your tasty treats, but your thinking? people, things, actions, re-actions. consuming the energy of newness, mystery. When you see through things jumping in front of you? another and another : your Flow contracting : smaller smaller windows : closing. Grow tired of ignoring, distraction, entertainment. people, things happen, credits. problems, learning, resolution. another day vs. gravity vs. faith vs. silence.

Deceiver deceived us  11.15
The same thing hundreds of times over and over. Some significant percentage of my life gone. With my eyes closed in total darkness half asleep already. Energy sold for less than it should. What is new that will not soon be old? Why then? Nothing pulling me. Nothing pushing me. Drift across waves of false busy created by others. Adversity parlayed into accomplishment. Daydreams held up in the sunlight for others to look through. Zurich for three nineteen round. One new Jersey : two new Jersey : three best Buy.

Dreamed of ringing voices  9.24
My brains stops spinning, locks up on just one thing, and I pause. Remembering how the number feels in the dark. Hoping to hear your voice, half aware that I'm on the other side. Through the air, through the walls, past the fuzzy gray. Small steps backward, outside, irrelevant.

Fast Asleep  8.10
suddenly staring, unable to sleep. five ay em here means three ay em there means I don't know. make me crazy to tears and I don't know what to do. such power revisited.

Mister Floor  8.5
Everything else goes away. Driven to visit : driven away. A different place with a different texture. Always below with the same simple purpose. You can never go past just one thing. Replacements instantly formed beneath. Silent spirals : round and round we go.

Is it wrong to become comfortable? To know the story or to expect the twist? Don't feed the animals, don't look down. Please remain calm, don't stop moving.

Empty hands. Weightless fragile glass ornaments, with no hooks, no string, no trees. The grass has no taste on either side, and there are no instructions on the fence. Dragging my fingers across the surface.

lonely room  8.4
I remember Swimming.

unfairly delayed by distance  7.29
Eventually we will grow tired, and step past our pretense. Turn and stand and stare. Wired differently, but thinking the same. Percentage. Grey enough to embrace flaws. I know more than I should, and am unable to empty my mind.

Discontent with my memory : fragments selected by someone else. White fabric squares serving no purpose. Black on black on brown and white. The smell of red. Sounds.

Free  7.15
Valet park for coffee and cheesecake. Build ice blocks in your freezer. Test drive cars without intending to buy. Use spray paint in the middle of your living room. Don't get the shower curtain everyone wants you to get. Drive slowly and wave. Put orange flames on the sides of your monitor. Be true without feeling guilty or wrong. No expectations.

I don't know what I'm doing, but do it anyway.

Power  7.9
Every motion a crafted effort to obtain power. Futile attempts to steer the boat : Self abuse granting false control : Molding my hollow impression : Quantify the risk of each breath. Without making a sound, it's gone away.

you can destroy me

Arrangements of One  7.6
Kick your speakers : adjust your volume : The one armed man.

bright pink and blue ball  7.4
Aimlessly floating : forward movement driven by inertia : content to drift in the noise. Think. think. think. drift. Repeat tomorrow like today. Again. and again. Tethered by habit. Keep your water away from my pile of sand. Hobby of the month. Books to feed my gremlin. Foods I thought not possible. Sounds that make me smile. Moments that close my eyes.

Buy no toys : Waste no movement : Tell no lies : Spare no soul. Amused by the extreme, always pushing towards the unknown goal.

The unshared moments are lost. My unread words were fading. So many stories : questions : ideas. Intimidation. No degrees to hide behind. No perfections to sell you. Older. Different. Content to linger in the dark. Enjoying the possibilities.

Do I amuse you?  6.25
Not to be left out of life's big joy, I bought some film and snuck my neighbors camera through airport security. The pictures are online for your amusement. There were no witnesses.

I dont wanna  6.6
After a certain age, your body reaches a point of stability. The various parts stop growing and begin to slowly decay. You go to the right school, you talk to the right people, you land a life contract for this year's most desirable job, you try to save money. But when the full tax rate kicks in, it dawns on you just how expensive it is. Air, water, food, sewage, storage. Cash flows in; cash flows out; eighty percent goes straight to rent. Convert to a tube. Eighty percent slowly becomes ninety percent. The color charts show me what I don't want to see. A brain in a tube in a rack in a wall. Ninety percent slowly becomes unrealistic. Maintaining rent is simply not possible. The glossy fold-out flyers. The chart with it's pluses and minuses. Hardwired to a holodeck. Even the phone calls from my family are unconvincing. They just sound, different. The pictures of my schoolmates getting older. They just look, flat.

"But what's the difference?" she asked.

I reached out and connected my fingertips with her left temple. Sweeping the hair back, exposing the her ear to the light, barely catching the hair in place. The backs of my fingers slowly trailing off between her chin and her neck. My vision went black, my brain lit up, and my eyes were neither scratchy nor dry.

No more questions.

Another day in  6.2
Familiar activities with the same people. Different people. New comments feedback ideas answers knowledge possibilities. Read into the sunrise. Work into the noontime. Loiter through the suntime. Explore into the setting sun. Contemplate into the state of a walking dream and then continue. Time spent well, yet spent. Empty hands turned upwards offering something heaver than air.

Don't sweat the details leaves nothing. Over and over : Watch it take form : Observe the mechanism. Motivation is built from expectations. Expectations are built from possibilities. Possibilities are formed into a large group moving in the same downward direction. You can dance; you can hide; you can't fight the truth. You can't argue against math.

Too tired to sleep. Too hollow to find silence. Echoes.

Clutter is bad  5.16
The Best Designs just keeps getting better and better, while I stand and watch from my air-free container. New license plates. 9300K cool white. Six more perfect pieces of chocolate.

in dark  5.6
Couldn't sleep. Drove over to see you. Lights still on, but no one was home. Sat on the couch; sat on the floor; stood staring inside the refrigerator. Your ex-boyfriend; the one who carries the gun everywhere. This wasn't apparent until he asked me to leave. Nothing in this room is worth being shot over. Nothing worth being dead over. Where's my book. I'm just wanna get my book out of the kitchen. Pop; Carpet; Crap. No problem. Modern technology; Large metropolitan area. Just call nine one one and talk them into sending help. I know he'll get in trouble, but I'm bleeding down here. That's a lot of blood. What do you mean he can't get in trouble? I don't care, I need some major medical assistance people. Pop. Now he doesn't need a doctor.

I swim through a world of false desire. Watching; Waiting. Eliminate that which is not truth. Scientific process of elimination. Time marches on. Surely. I have clothing sitting in my closet that's never been worn. just sitting. Ah, lovely, stylish ... and then nothing. Repeat. It blinks and has twice as much memory. It's made of solid wood. You can't beat real wood. Vitamin fortified. Shiny yet won't attract fingerprints. Faster. Firmer. It smells like fruit. Always something else to be cast aside. Surely.

A train went past my window. Horn; Horn; Rumble-Rumble; Whoosh. I'm not sure how they drove a train down Live Oak; So pretty. I've often been accused Of being unjustly hollow. They need to look farther. It's not for lack of opportunity, or ability, or readiness. It's for lack of desire as a result of introspection. A desire for what is real. The starting gun drowned out by the ringing in my ears; No direction to run. Making motions. Shaving. Cereal. Charged by the bank for something I didn't do. Staring at the other drivers; Where is he going? What is he doing? Why?

Breathe. More rain.

Heartless peppers  5.5
Lonely Meals : one single serving. Inspired by Sybil, but dedicated to Stephanie; she knows why.

in rain  5.5
So I sat out on the balcony patio. It rained. The wind blew. The neighbors across the street came home, and tried to cover their heads to keep their hair dry. They stood on the front steps; smoking. Two small children ran in and out of the doorway, through the smoke; wielding toys. I watched their large screen TV on the second floor, which was showing a talk show. A hairless frog's head in a blue shirt was talking. Occasionally the picture would switch to show a different figure; standing; wearing a grey suit. I'm famous. I did this last week. He said this. She said that. I'm in this new project. Buy a copy. Famous model died in a car. Ass clown in Washington said something and did nothing. Four thousand pounds accelerating from standstill to sixty in 7 seconds is simply not fast enough. Finance rates are lower this week; This car looks pretty.

Monday Morning  4.30
My sleeping schedule is messed up. I managed to accomplish none of the stuff I needed to get done for work. Every piece of clothing I own is still in a pile on the floor. The bottom of my bathtub still scares small children. I'm desperately waiting for my submitted photo to be approved on SparkMatch. I won't name any names, but yes ladies and gentlemen ...

I have indeed had a tragically lovely weekend.

YOU ARE A TOTAL LOSER  4.28
I spend all night working out how to duplicate <NOBR> tricks using CSS so my pathetic website will be completely "XHTML 1.0 Transitional" compliant. I spend all day tracking down how to make use of MSXML's XMLHTTPRequest object to duplicate the <CFHTTP> function using ASP.

Sybil wields bad art to torment you with photos and show you how fondling hot chicks makes for some lovely Kodak moments. You claim that her website hurts your eyes when you look at it, while Sybil steals another 15 minutes of fame thanks to Wrestlemania.

Now I won't name names ... but somebody is a loser.